never in my life i ever thought i would be the one to ask my parent "are you going out tonioght?"
and the response would be yes. then i ask “what about tomorrow?” i get “yes, ill be home late today and tomorrow.” fuck you. its okay, im used to feeling like a parent already anyways. you’re kids are even starting to call me "MOM". what does that tell you?
i really like how all week every week since i graduated i watch your kids from early morning to late at night, you come home, from work which is sitting on your ass answering phones and filing appointments (like that’s so tiring) and when you come home, you eat sleep or go out to gamble. you’re having the time of your life right?, when i cant even go to the beach with my damn boyfriend and his family, just this once. i get nothing from you, ever. i can never enjoy anything. i can never have my summer. im always taking care of YOUR kids while you enjoy everything. im tired of your bullshit. i cant wait, to get as far away from you as possible. to be able to do whatever the fuck i want. your a bitch. i cant go because your going out both today and tomorrow, when i cant even have one day to myself. you selfish ……. while i raise your kids. fuck you.
I found a love that will never give up on me, that will never let me go through my struggles alone, and treats me the way I’ve always wanted to be treated. A Love that will never leave me, will never hurt me, that will always stay with me. its love i found in my siblings, my boyfriend, my best friends, and my God. i am so blessed.
friends?, or family. the only one i can trust is myGod.even my closest “family”, or “friends”, turn out to never have my back in the end. can never support me, and all will do is doubt me, portray me as something I’m not, turn against me, and lack the emotional support that iv so desperately needed but kept hidden under the carpet to show that i don’t need anyone. maybe its just me, maybe its just me over reacting. all i have are the obstacles in life to distract me from what s been right in front of me this whole time. friends?, its just an illusion. there’s always gunna be something more important that they would rather support and have then “my back”. “family”?, it sucks to recently realize that the closest of them would put their own girlfriend or boyfriend before you, to use you for your own money, your car, to use you for your own talents to make it seem like your talent is their own.i don’t need it.i don’t see this false illusion that society wants me to see. maybe this isn’t what God has planned for me, and what he has is something much more. maybe that’s why i don’t really fit in. no worries, im still blessed and happy with what i have. in a way?, no ones perfect, and no one is real, no one is fake, no one is worth it, and no one isn’t worth it. twisted how society it. you can hate a person as much as you want, but you end up being and doing what you say someone else does. smh. God is good, that’s all i know, and he doesn’t want me worrying about society, because what he has planned for me is so much more greater.