not tryna make myself look desperate for your attention, which is why i leave you alone not gaf about about our situation. where we stand?, i left on cruise control. not going too fast or going to slow. your time, feels like its separating us apart, so i felt the need to now i put us in park. not going forward, not going reverse. just wanna see who and what you wanna put first. i leave you alone, and ignore conversation, to see how much you really want LOVE’S SATISFACTION.
Couples always talk about their future. How they will get married, what they’ll name their kids, and how many kids they’ll have. They make promises for the future, they only care for the future. Think about the present first. Without it, there’s no future. If you want to be together forever, make it happen.
and by wanting so, i threw away most of all the things that were important to me. i wasnt able to see the things i had, i wasnt able to see the happiness it brought me. genuinely. i was blind. i couldnt see. i was so caught up in what i wanted. i ended up hurting those around me. i was selfish because deep down, i really was happy. i just wanted more. i wanted so much that i wasnt satisfied and grateful with what i already had right in front of me. what i already had within the grasp of my hand. wrapped around my fingers. in the palm of my hands with no hesitation of leaving. but now it seems as if those things that brought me happiness grew wings and flew away, when in reality, i just dropped them, let them go, and wanted to see what else i could find to bring me happiness. selfish i know. i guess it only took time for me to finally realize it. and now?, it sucks. the things that could give me temporary happiness, everything that i asked for?, i got. but it came with the consequence of letting go of the long term happiness. the things that could make me happy all the time, for a very long time. not just only sometimes. it was wrong of me. and if anything?, i wish i could take it back. i thought i had everything planned out. i thought that if i planned everything with the right timing, everything would go my way, and fall into place. i thought that if i left my happiness behind, it would still be there, waiting for me till i would come back. but i realize that everyone wants happiness. and if let alone then the world wont hesitate to take it from you. weather its another person, fate, destiny, God. it doesnt really matter. because this is just one of the things that i have to live by, get over and let go. and maybe try and find happiness again. most likely?, it wont be as good as the last but, in the end?, God gave me a choice to decide on what i thought i wanted. i was wrong. this isnt what i wanted. but i pray?, that ill find genuine happiness almost as great as the first.